What Happened When Ethan Stepped on a NYC Stage

The day after Thanksgiving, Ethan flew to NYC to make one of his big dreams come true.  Performing in NYC. It was his first time flying alone and managing public transportation, which he did with ease.  

He was cast in a cabaret show of all 70s songs with 19 performers and 17 numbers. He was given one solo and 4 group numbers. The thing is, 17 of his fellow performers had been practicing together in person because they were local.  Ethan was flying in; he didn’t know anyone. He hadn’t rehearsed with them during group numbers. So he would get one run through of his numbers only the day before.  

On the night of the performance, Ethan thought that they might live-stream the event on Instagram. So I got on my couch, hooked up my phone to the TV ready to watch. After refreshing for 20 minutes, I realized it wasn’t going to happen. But the IG page posted a few 30-60-second clips of song performances.  They were excellent. These performers were so good. So talented.   

And friends, I’m embarrassed to tell you what happened next….  

Fear thoughts flooded me. What if Ethan is out of his league up there?  What if he can’t hold his own? What if the director regrets casting him without working with him?  

It became very clear, very quickly, that this is ALL my own stuff unfolding and revealing my old default patterning of compare and despair.  It spiked my own fear of not being good enough. My wound of not belonging. My fear of disappointing others. The fear was mine,  and I projected it onto my son’s experience.  

The good news is that I could see it so clearly and marveled at how fast my mind conjured made up fear.  

So what actually happened? Well, thankfully, Ethan isn’t me. 

Was he nervous? Yes.   

Yet, when he was awed by some of the other incredible performers, he didn't go into comparison or shrink back. Nor did he tell himself a story of not being enough or try to be better than.  

He did the opposite- he stepped into the energy of the excitement, joy, and excellence that was around him and let it lift him higher.  

He allowed the awe of being in NYC, performing with professionals, and singing with a live band to fuel him to step fully into his dream instead of his fear.  

Instead of getting stuck in his insecurities, he focused on what he could contribute to the performance.  

As it turns out, he gave one of his best vocal performances. Ever. He was relaxed in his body, having fun, and gave his gift to the crowd. He wasn’t going to miss his dream come true by feeling inferior or trying to prove something. Instead, he was present in every moment and had one of the best nights of his life.   

This experience served as a powerful reminder to make the decision not to shrink back and get small when surrounded by other amazing people. Instead, focus on what you can give, and allow the energy of others to be a catalyst for you to grow and rise.  

And if you want to see Ethan perform David Bowie, Elton John, Queen, and Fleetwood Mac, I posted all the videos on my Facebook page.  

Our kids are our teachers.  Ethan has always been mine.