What should you be doing?

In the past month, I’ve woken up a few times with the pressure of a heavy heart in my chest. I’ve been feeling some anxiousness, grief, and unsettling fear. Some of that is from the big events happening in the world, and some of that concerns people I care about and situations happening in my own life. 

It’s not one thing. But they all pile up. 

Thankfully, I have self-care, spiritual practices, and lots of tools. I know about what to do to support myself,  but I realized I was struggling to do them. 

It is easy to go into all the things I SHOULD be doing. We know what they are, don’t we? Our overthinking brain could make a very long, overwhelming list. But the thing about shoulds is they can feel shaming. And that creates more resistance and heaviness. Instead of asking what I should be doing, I got into stillness out in nature, and I asked my heart and body what I desired to do to support myself.  

And very gently, I heard one thing. 

There was one thing I could do today that would make a difference. Turn away from screens earlier and start my nighttime rituals so I can wind down and get to bed by a specific time. One simple area of focus that creates a shift. 

Take a deep breath in and ask your heart and body what it might need right now. What’s one thing you’d like to do?  

Currently, if you turn on the news, social media, or look around your life, there are a lot of demands for what you SHOULD be thinking and feeling and, therefore, doing.  

When I am feeling pressure, anger, grief, fear, and anxiety- I am more likely to react than to respond. More likely to be sucked into an emotional frenzy.  I am more likely to be in FIGHT or FLIGHT.  It’s also when I am more susceptible to thinking in absolutes instead of in flexible nuance, paradox, and possibility.  

I need real space and time to process my feelings. Otherwise, I can stay in the same loop with them. I need time to listen, to have meaningful real-life conversations, and spend time in reflection. How is the external world mirroring my inner world?  Reflection helps me to access my wisdom.  

Then, I can find more clarity on what I feel called to do. 

Let’s keep supporting ourselves and each other. No shoulds, just callings.  


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