Throughout my decade of coaching and leading women, I have come to believe in the transformation of giving ourselves grace and forgiveness as a way to really care for our physical and emotional well-being.
Forgiving yourself is difficult especially if it was never modeled. How could you ever be “enough” if you were conditioned to carry around your guilt like a badge of honor designed to keep you “humble”?
As a human be-ing, you will make mistakes and poor choices, act carelessly, hurt yourself and others. In my experience, forgiving yourself is easier said than done, which is why a regular practice of forgiveness is as important as it is powerful. In my women’s circles and retreats, we use the regular cycle of the full moon as a monthly practice to release and forgive.
Last January we had a “super wolf blood moon eclipse." Besides sounding like a 70’s band name, it was the second eclipse of 2019 and a powerful one. I took it as an opportunity to write a letter of forgiveness to myself as a way of releasing and clearing before my upcoming birthday. Every full moon, I make a list of what and who I want to forgive. I share this letter with you in hope of inspiring your own forgiveness practice.
I write this letter with the intention of releasing the heavy emotions on my heart and in my body.
I forgive you for showing up late, not because of traffic, but because you didn’t allow yourself the space you needed to leave on time.
I forgive you for not sticking to your morning routine, for not exercising, for not flossing like you said you would.
I forgive you for choosing the easy way and not dealing with what felt uncomfortable until it became a much bigger divide and conflict than it needed to be.
I forgive you for all the times you didn’t say anything, whether out of fear or comfort or both.
I forgive you for not listening to your body and for not feeding her the nourishment you knew she needed but was too tired to make a better choice. I forgive you for all the unaccepting and painful stories you said to yourself about your body. I forgive you for not seeing and honoring your own sacred beauty. I forgive you for associating how you look with what you are worth.
I forgive you for giving into temptations, choices, and paths that weren’t in your highest integrity because you wanted attention, and to be chosen and validated in a way that you didn’t think you could give yourself.
I forgive you for not prioritizing relationships, for pushing others away, for not responding, following up, or reaching out.
I forgive you for sharing what wasn’t yours to share, for judging others harshly without the grace and empathy they deserved. I forgive you for taking your unprocessed emotions out on your family/friends.
I forgive you for staying up too late watching Netflix, or looking at the screen of your phone when you knew that what you needed was to unplug, relax, and sleep.
I forgive you for taking on too much responsibility for others and trying to control outcomes and situations. I forgive you for believing someone else’s words and promises over trusting your own inner voice.
I forgive you for letting it go on way too long before you ended it.
I forgive you for not knowing, doing, or choosing better.
I forgive you for telling a story that was more balm to your ego than to your soul truth.
I forgive you. I forgive you and ask that all self-punishment, guilt, and shame be released. Holding onto it doesn’t serve the highest version of me that I choose to be. I ask that I humbly integrate the lessons and the learnings
And so it is.
I forgive you, knowing that because of my mistakes, I am a stronger, braver, wiser guardian of my life.
And I remind you that you deserve forgiveness, you are still loved and lovable. You are sacred, significant, and divine.